“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” (Rom. 7:15)
Common problem, right? How is it that we know the right thing but we either refuse to do it or do the complete opposite? The Holy Spirit that lives in us guides and directs us yet we refuse to listen to that voice in our head and that nudging in our heart. And then there’s the aftermath. We look back…regret. Shame. Unworthy. We are reminded of how broken we are born into this world a sinful man (or woman). So we kick the dirt, flap our arms, and everything in our humanness says, “Give up. It’s too hard.”.
Blessed, before you give up there’s something you must know. The very things you rebel against are the instruments God will use to mold you and perfect your character. Spiritual maturity takes time and we must be patient. God is the developer of our character and Christian walk. We are not ultimately in control (Luck 12: 22-26) remember? Be willing and have the courage to look within yourself. However, IF something is revealed to you, it’s important you don’t brush it off or make a justification… “That’s just who I am.” “I am like my dad (or mom).”
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” (Ps. 139: 23-24) Psalm 139 is a fantastic prayer to pray when you’re feeling beat up about sinfulness. That thing you did last night, those hurtful words you spouted off at your spouse or kids because you felt unappreciated, this is the kind of prayer you fall on your knees and acknowledge to God your awareness and gratefulness for his everlasting love and grace. The Lord will not reject a repentant and humble heart. “Create in me a clean heart, O Lord. Renew a loyal spirit within me.” (Ps. 51:10)
Most often we rely on our own human help to get us through a battle or challenge we are facing. We might go as far as give up some “treasures” to win the approval of others. But how foolish are we! We need to trust in God for he is who fights our battles. “The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” (2 Chron. 16:9)
In closing, keep asking, keep seeking, and keep knocking. Your persistence alone will pay off. Stay in the Word. Be in the Word daily. Our daily devotional time is when we receive our “daily bread”. This is food for our soul. We receive the orders and instructions from God for our day. The Lord is in charge of our day and our walk, so why not get your daily instructions so you can do your part to be obedient?
“I found the potter working at his wheel. But the jar he was making did not turn out as he had hoped, so he crushed it into a lump of clay again and started over. …As the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand.” (Jer. 17: 3-4, 6)
Keep on walking in the faith. Pause in the moment and enjoy the wonder around you. You are exactly where he wants you to be.